Life.

I have been thinking a lot these days.
About something.
About life.
I don't know.
Sometimes I wonder, how does normal people live?
I mean, am I having a normal life, just like the other teenagers?
This question keeps playing in my head again and again.
Some may think that I have a really good and very lavish life.
They did say to me like that.
Deep in my heart, for me I don't have any life.
I don't have much friends. I don't go out everyday. And I go out with family, most of the time.

I have so many things to say to explain this thing but I don't know where to start.
Maybe I am just scared.
Scared of revealing all my dark secrets kept sacred in my deep heart.
Insecurities. Yeah.
Only some of my really good friends know my real life. But, do they really think that I am their bestfriend? Or is it just me that think that they are. And that's why I prefer to live alone.
I always pray to God to grant me good friends.
I think I have the most complicated life ever.

I did hear stories about me.
About how I neglect people after sometimes being close to them.
I did it on purpose.
You may say that I am useless but still. I don't want to create any special bonds with 'em.
It will hurt more.
That's why.

Youknowhat,
I had so many things inside my head just now and so many things I would like to write.
But I am so blank right now actually.
That's all for now.

Dear blog, I promise I won't leave you anymore. I'll visit you everyday kay ? :)