Rebound

I have always wanted to channel my thoughts and feelings through blogging, but yeah, maybe i'm just not that kind of person who really likes writing. i think im more to talking. obviously. but tonight, i read someone's blog, that suddenly made me feel like writing, something that i really want to share. eventho i bet nobody would even care of my existence, i bet.

until now, i have yet to figure what i really want in my life. frankly saying. entah la. being in INTI, i did anticipate things like this to happen. as in like to adapt with the new friends, environment. hard, i must say. my attitude changed almost 360 degrees. most of the people here may not seem to understand my situation. maybe because they dont know the old me, i presume. sometimes, i feel like going out from INTI. honestly, studying abroad has never been my aim. i dont really think i will even be a good engineer neither businessman. i have always wanted to write so much, but my lack of writing skills really limit my words here. and i know why. i have even yet to find my own personal strength, flare. yeah, flare. people may say that the way i talk, walk and whatnot is rather convincing, but i swear to God, i never have confidence in myself, in every aspect of life. study, appearance, attitude and whatsoever.

the first day i came to inti, my heart stumbled like shit. it was like, i was still hesitating my decision on pursuing my studies here. but that was not the thing that i worried the most. i worried about, how would people see me. as in like their perception towards me. entah la. as much as love to talk and make people laugh, i have always had this one part of me feeling lonely and isolated. and indeed, i like that way. sitting alone somewhere sometime alone. i would feel at ease like that.
i shall continue later.